Some idiot drives to a town with bad weather and sticks his hand down the toilet to find his dead wife
Some fucking nerd is in a movie theater and his bitchy ass girlfriend gets stolen by some asshole. Then the nerd gets pulled into the movie world and fights shit in spandex.
An elf in a green shirt runs around with a lame fairy trying to get a mask back from some scarecrow.
some asshole wastes all her money on an aquarium and then fucks an alien. and then she gets killed by a holographic child.
some little assholes go to camp and earn merit badges
these a big haired dude, a girl in parachute pants and a weird cat midget try to save the world from a giant tree or something
You have to fight some fucking space wizards and all you have to do it with is a gun and this guy with a crush on you or something follows you everywhere talking in plural first person and nobody ever tells you the fucking truth.
You’re this foul mouth motherfucker with a leash. You shoot shit. You crash your space ship cause you’re a fucking moron. Your best friend almost dies. You meet a chick. You find a nuke. Yeah.
You play this crazy engineer dude called Isaac Clarke and you go around spaceships kicking dead-mutant babies and shooting the shit out of everything. Also you get to pick up a hot chick, do everyone’s dirty work for them, and try but fail to save people, as usual. And then you fight your mind and escape in a pod with the hot chick. The end.
Life sucks, and then you die.
You’re this bitch who travels around in fucking space and fights against aliens and shit who want to destroy your race and then everything explodes and everyone you love dies, including yourself.
This short, Italian motherfucker gets his girl stolen for the billionth time so you have to go around while these fucking weirdass enemies are always up in your space, fucking you up. You’re forced to make friends with the dickhole who took your dumbass princess in the first place (and guess what he lost that bitch) and so now you’ve got a god damn frog, some lame ass weak scarecrow, and a pussy dinosaur whatever the fuck he is on your team while you gather these 7 gay stars. Then you end up having to beat this questionable boss like 50 times.
Duke Nukem Forever.
The things I would do to have Scarlett Johansson
